(While I was driving today to practice, the song “I’ll Show You How To Live” by Sanctus Real was playing)
Me: My life….it’s just the beginning. From now on I start to experience all the things of growing up. Soon…my life is finally going to begin.
God: No, Child. Your life starts today. In fact, it started from the first day. From your first breath. You don’t wait for a certain time or a certain moment to begin living your life. You don’t wait for a certain mark to begin living. Life starts in every single moment that I give you another breath. If you wait to live your life, you will only waste it. Don’t waste the life I’ve given you by waiting to begin to live. I will show you how to live.
(Source: allforlovephoto)
Beauty :: Perception :: The Cycle.
Sometimes, many times actually, I’ll look at myself and I’ll say, “God…you made me so plain. I can’t find anything about me that is physically appealing. Why couldn’t you have made me beautiful like others?”
And of course, I always hear God say that He made me perfect. It’s not about what’s on the outside. It’s the inside that radiates true and genuine beauty.
However, all of this has got me thinking….
I’m not the only one who doubts my beauty.
So of the most beautiful friends and people that I know doubt their beauty.
I compare myself to them.
They compare themselves to others.
And it’s this never-ending cycle caused the the enemy that wants us to be totally distracted from accepting our true worth. The enemy does everything in his power to stop us from believing that we are beautiful, that we are worth something.
And the cycle is so real, and it does not stop at the physical.
I started to think tonight that maybe the prettiest woman in the universe could look at me and be jealous of the soul that’s within me; the faith that I possess.
I realized that it is indeed possible for the most gorgeous woman in the world to look down on the plainest girl in the world and say, “I wish that I could be here,” while that plain girl wishes it could be the other way around.
Why is it such a struggle for us to be happy with who we are? What we have?
Next time you look in the mirror, I encourage you to take a deeper look.
What really matters to you?
What is it that you want to attract? And in what means do you want to attract them?
And if that wasn’t clear then this is what I mean: If you want someone who is worth holding on to, first make yourself into the person that is worth holding on to. Be someone with the beautiful soul that radiates outward and shines upon everything you do….everything you are.
It’s sad. We’ve gotten so used to glorifying skinny and perfect bodies that when we someone not up to par, our automatic response is, “ew.”
The change begins with Us.
Conversation between me and God:
- "WHY DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND?????"
- "He does."
- "...what.."
- "He does understand. Why don't you?"
- "But I do understand. He's sick and---"
- "No my child. That is the problem. You both understand each other and where each other is coming from.....But you two do not FEEL for each other. And that is where the disputes begin. You both are too caught up in the thought that what YOU want is right. THAT is what you need to understand."
Um. Dear People who say that God laughs when Fags die.
GEE. IF GOD LAUGHED WHENEVER A FAG DIED, THEN HE WOULDN’T EVEN HAVE BOTHERED TO GIVE THEM A LIFE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
And if God hated fags, then He wouldn’t even have bothered to let them live.
You people who claim to be a believer and follower of God, who still genuinely call people fags and mistreat them, obviously have no clue what you believe in. Or you know what you believe—or what you think you believe…but it’s seriously wrong. Because God loves His creation. And fine, I do believe homosexuality is a sin. But God HATES the SIN, LOVES the sinner.
And everyone always questions why God never seems to do anything to help the poor: We were put on this earth to LOVE people. WE were given dominion over the earth…not to do evil and hurt others but to LOVE on others the way God sent His son to love us.
And I’m pretty sure calling people fags and seeking to hurt them is not love.
..And that’s just one of the many things that we are at fault with.
We need to do a better job at loving others you guys. We all do.
The Little Things.
I think that too often people don’t notice the little things that can bring a smile to their face. When life becomes stagnant and monotonous, with no change, and nothing special….everything becomes boring. Everything becomes depressing. There’s this hidden longing that begins to claw out of you, and you realize that you want much more than this.
But that’s the problem.
I believe that sometimes God will allow your life to be monotonous for a while because He wants you to see the beauty in the little things that you never noticed before. It’s like the summer of your spiritual life, I would say. When things are laid back…but it becomes boring.
I think that God wants us to notice the things we never gave much thought to before when everything was crazy, or when your thoughts were focused on one specific thing.
Definitely not easy. And I know that some of you reading this might be thinking, “This is so dumb. I don’t believe in a God that would do that. There’s no point in any of this crap.”
Well I believe in a God who would. And I believe that there is a point. Because I believe that a God who created everything beautiful would WANT us to see the beauty in those things that everyone else takes for granted.
So there you go.
If you’re wondering why your life has become so boring and stagnant and tedious, then try taking a break. Try looking around once in a while. Notice the people around you. Notice those things around you that you don’t normally notice. Make a change. Every day, do something new that you had never done before.
I guarantee, your eyes will be opened and you will gain many new perspectives.
I think sometimes we forget that there’s an ENTIRE world out there, waiting for us…
We get so caught up in everything we have….and when something doesn’t work out, it feels like there’s no hope for anything else to come our way.
But the truth is that the entire WORLD awaits us. There is MUCH MORE to your life than the four corners that you are surrounded by right now.
So if something doesn’t work out the way you hoped….don’t despair.
There’s something and someone out there,
waiting for YOU to be ready,
and at the same time….God is preparing them for You.
Sometimes you may find yourself in a dilemma where you are ”damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” You cannot solve such dilemmas by choosing a side because both paths lead to suffering. The only way out is to transform your perspective to a place where the dilemma no longer exists. This is possible.
You must think I’m strong to give me what I’m going through.
Guys, understand
that it’s natural for girls to distrust us, any sensible woman would. I mean, given the track record of all of the other guys who don’t know how to treat a woman, it’s hard for them not to judge or assume before they even get to know us. But guys, our actions will help them decide if we could be worth the risk or if they’d rather just not even bother with us. We don’t need to be different, we have to different. We need to show them that we are like no guy they have ever met. Always remember, there’s no shame in trying to know a girl but there can be incredible regret if you never say a single word. <3
YOU ALWAYS DREAM OF HOW HE MAKES YOU HAPPY AND HOW HE CAN BE YOURS BUT THAT IS WRONG, MY DEAR… NEVER THE WAY TO GO ABOUT.. ALREADY SEEING HOW SOMEONE CAN BE YOURS, BEFORE SEEING HOW THEY CAN BE GONE FROM YOUR GRASPS, IS ALWAYS THE REASON FOR YOUR UNENDING PAINS. LOVE CAN NOT BE DONE THROUGH VISIONS OF FOREVER, BUT VISIONS OF STAYING TOGETHER. THESE TWO ARE VERY SIMILAR, BUT THOSE WITH A WILLING TO ACCEPT KNOW THE TRUE DIFFERENCE. - God
Forgot about this, and needed the reminder.
To be honest, sometimes I think that this is the problem. THIS is what causes everyone’s pain.
There are so many of us, and I must admit that I’m guilty of it, who try so hard to find the right person to love us, if not ANYONE.
When ONE person comes along who shares similar feelings with you, you automatically start to have uncontainable happiness because you are starting to see that someone CARES for you. Someone “loves” you. You actually MEAN something to someone.
So the problem is when things don’t work out….
There will be relationships and flings that don’t work out like the way it was originally planned..
And in the end, too many people are left feeling empty like NO ONE cares for them…like they mean absolutely nothing to anyone.
That’s the problem with society.
When the one person someone invested in leaves them, automatically they believe that no one else cares.
Well let me break that and say that someone DOES care.
Your family cares, your friends care, there’s a God up there who cares…and sometimes…you will even come across a stranger who cares.
You mean SOMETHING to SOMEONE out there.
NEVER forget that.
Parts of my song which I don’t have a title for yet. Still tweaking it and adding more.
I’ve been trying to see
Why I chose to leave
And I realized it was these three things
I was afraid of love
I was afraid of change
And I was afraid
That one day you’d stop loving me.
Why did I complicate
The Simplicity
Of your love for me?
You showed me with every ounce
Of your being.
I regret the way I refused to fight
The fears that entangled me
When I tried
To sleep at night..
And I regret the way
I ran away
Because I couldn’t believe
In a brighter day.
Note:: This song is a written compilation of what I’m afraid might happen in the future if I don’t fight the fears I have of falling in love. My goal was to make this a universal type of song, but in the end, it ended up being quite personal.
Love Violently. Love in such a way that when you hurt them, it is only because you were saving them from hurting themselves in the long run
And Now I See.
The more that I think about it now that I’m okay, the more I see how blinded I was by my own broken heart.
The more I realize that when all the bad things began happening, I started to forget about all the times that you were there…because I guess it hurt too much to see how suddenly, you weren’t.
And I’m really sorry for that. It shifted from where once all the things I used to hold so dear were suddenly the things that were farthest from my sight. It was all leaving me and that was too much for me to handle because you were the ONE thing that I wanted to keep for the rest of my life.
Well it doesn’t matter much anymore.
The damage from both our sides is already done.
As I’m finally free from the things that I’ve felt, I see everything from all new perspectives now.
I feel bad, I really do.
Sorry that we’re complete strangers now too.
Well maybe that’s just how life is. People come into your life for a season, but most definitely for a reason.
And although it hurt, I can see that there are people I helped that I couldn’t have if I didn’t go through all that I went through.
Man, it was hard though. Fine I was emotional, but I was because I can honestly say that I CARED about you SO MUCH. And honestly, I really did love you.
And if you’re reading this and you don’t believe me, then just know that it was true. I did.
And I still do, just not the way I used to.
I’m moving forward moreso than I have been now.
And I know that now it’s time for me to say Goodbye.
