oops also:

When God asked me to give my heart to Him.

I literally started freaking out internally. haha, I don’t know why…but I started getting REALLY nervous.

And my heart—I felt it dropping.

And I asked Him, “Wait….what’s going to happen?”

and suddenly I got a flashback to the Sanctus Real “DEAR HEART” video that I always watch…

and it talks about giving the heart away,

and one line says, “ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE US NOW.”

And that was my answer.

My heart was going to be saved.

So I let go…..And I felt my heavy heart suddenly become LIGHT when I let Him take it.

I don’t know, but it was really, really, really nice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbC5j_L9MuY

“Forgiven” -Sanctus Real

I have heard this song a COUNTLESS number of times….but for some reason today when it played in the car ride home…I really listened to the lyrics and I started to cry.

I was surprised how much I could actually relate to this song. Maybe you can too..

________________________________

Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I’m reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just wont let me forget

In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am


I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause
I’m forgiven

My mistakes are running through my mind
And I’ll relive my days, in the middle of the night
When I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry

In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause 
I’m forgiven

When I don’t fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘cause

_____________________________________________

I mean I can’t even express how out of place I feel at school nowadays. To think I used to be the person who always had a place to go…a place to feel at home.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s because of how sad I’ve been that people just don’t want to be around me.

They’ll talk to me for a bit, then they’ll go off and talk to their other friends as if I’m not even there sitting by myself still.

And that hurts me more than anyone can ever know.

I mean to even think that I’m crying while I write this. I am sooo tired of feeling out of place without friends to hang out with.  

Well…

Aside from them,

Aside from all that I feel,

I am a treasure in the arms of Christ.

And He will bring me to the right people…at the right time….

The Redeemer. Began my morning…ending my day with this song.

Sometimes I just want to start over, ‘cause everything looks like a wreck
And I need the courage to carry on, ‘cause I can’t see what’s ahead
And there are places I’ve wished I could be, battles I’ve wanted to win
Dreams that have slipped through my hands
I may never get back again

But I’m still a dreamer, a believer
Oh, I’ve lost my faith in so many things, but I still believe in You
‘Cause You can make anything new

Sometimes I just wish we could say all the things that are easy to hear
Ignore the injustice we see and explain every unanswered prayer
But I’d rather speak honestly and wear a tattered heart on my sleeve
‘Cause in the middle of my broken dreams, redemption is here

And I’m still a dreamer, a believer
Oh, I’ve lost my faith in so many things, but I still believe in You
‘Cause You are the answer, the redeemer
Oh, I’ve given up on too many things, but I’m not giving up on You
‘Cause You can make anything new

I don’t have every answer in life
But I’m trusting You one day at a time
‘Cause You can make a weak heart stay alive forever
this is where Heaven and Earth collide
I lift my hands and give my life
This is how my weary heart stays alive

Oh, I’m still a dreamer (This is where heaven and earth collide)
(I lift my hands and give my life)
Still a believer (This is how my weary heart stays alive)
Oh, You are the answer (Oh, this is where Heaven and Earth collide)
(I lift my voice and give my life)
The redeemer (This is how my weary heart stays alive, oh)

‘Cause You can make anything new
Yeah, You can make anything new