LOL HI TODAY WAS NICE
This is me because I’m happy.
Today was the day(:
Congrats to the class of 2012! It has been an unforgettable four years<3
And although I must admit by the end I was incredibly sick of a lot of things……..Now I can say that all is okay now. And yes, I think I will miss you guys.
<3(:
(Source: splashofhope)
Do normal prom dates take pictures like this? Staring contests and arm wrestling at an empty dining table?
The answer is no, so okay.
(:
le prom 2012
Little thoughts:
1. I can’t believe I’m graduating this year.
2. I can’t believe next week is the closing week of the musical.
3. I can’t believe there are FIVE SHOWS NEXT WEEK. But it will be great.
4. I LOVEEEEEEEE that Collin tried tying my bow from my hat today. Even though I kept laughing during the song because of him, it was the cutest thing in the world. He really wants to be the protector of my hat from falling off my head. Even if he makes it worse.
5. Why does Aiden and Morgan keep saying I’m a zombie and the bad guy. Why do they keep jumping on me and attacking me with their nerf guns. It’s okay. They love me and I love them<3
6. My feelings.
7. So a rejection today, eh?
8. Nervous and anxious and scared about my last two letters….
9. Just……….ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh with EVERYTHING.
Why am I still awake? OH WELL. Today was FINALLY a good day(:
First like, really, really, really good day I’ve had in a few weeks.
Having devotions again. I was completely absorbed in the Bible and man…I can’t even describe the peace that it gave me. Not spending time in the Bible for the past two weeks is really what made me incredibly vulnerable to the terrible thoughts and feelings…and today was just, wow.
God even gave me people to walk and talk with today(:
Awesome time in CPOA
HILARIOUS TIME in Latin! EEEEEEEEEEOOOO. Togo’s in Togas….Oh man, after a year of planning..It’s coming. (LOL OVER A YEAR OF PLANNING ACTUALLY)
Mrs. Anderson showing her video of her dog to the entire class.
Tutoring from Mr. Adams! PHEW that was needed.
Catch up with Ms. Spencer.
Examined Life Club for the first time. Really, really interesting.
AP Gov OUTSIDE in the sun today<33333 engaging convo.
WHICH WICH and Tapioca Express AGAIN today! This time with Ashley and Lauren! That was a lot of fun!
Especially trying to sing One Direction in the car……..when we definitely don’t know the words. Except Lauren. ahaha.
AWESOME show tonight.
Happy and sad for my friends<3
Collin and Morgan and Aeden. And Collin when he tries to fix my hat but actually makes it worse. And the water incident. And just everything. He’s been so much more loving lately! LOL. I guess cos he’s not aaaas tired as he was last week.
But anyway it was a really good show tonight. And the audience was great(=
So yep. Good day. Good day. Thank you God so so so much. It was needed.
In my Confusion came God in the Silence.
So this morning was quite interesting.
I was driving on 101 going to school and I was about to get on the bridge, but as I’m about to switch lanes, the car next to me didn’t give way….and instead I ended up MISSING my exit.
And I don’t live in San Jose so I don’t even really know the area. I just know the routes that I take and that’s it.
I ended up in Downtown San Jose and I THOUGHT I could find my way but….nope..
At this point, I was pretty pissed. I was GOING to be on time to school too! I figured I wouldn’t have much time to do my car devotions that I recently started…but I figured I could “make it up” to Him later.
But as I’m wrestling with my anger and annoyance at what happened, I just felt God say, “Use this time to listen to me.”
I’m pretty sure I spent 6 minutes trying to find parking….4 minutes spent parking, setting my GPS, and then just sitting there. 5 minutes trying to get to the freeway—another 10 minutes sitting in traffic AND THEN taking the WRONG EXIT AND ENDING UP BACK IN DOWNTOWN SAN JOSE, and then another 10 minutes getting to school.
Then since I was already super late for English, I got breakfast at Lee’s Sandwich to reward myself. LOLOLOL.
But anyway….I used that time to LISTEN TO GOD.
In the first few minutes He told me to turn off my radio. I never drive without music. I was wondering why He was ask me, because I mean, I was listening to Jesus Culture, so what was the issue? But I knew it was because He wanted me to REALLY hear HIS voice and not have me distracted by all my favorite songs…
And in this time…..It was just so incredibly. I actually spent time asking God what He wanted to tell me, and He’d just speak.
Certain quotes were these:
“You cannot let your fears stop you from being happy. Things that hurt you happened so that you can learn from them….but do not let the fears from your past stop you from being happy in the future. That will be what will ruin you.”
“You see….just like the gps told you where to go, and yet you didn’t understand because the directions it gave weren’t clear. And sometimes you hear what I have to say, but you misinterpret it or misunderstand and them—-and it gets you lost. It gets you to the wrong path, or even to a road you’ve already been on…..but the GPS is still with you isn’t it? Just as I am still with you.”
“I did this so that you can truly listen to me. I tell you the truth, for the next few days you will NOT take the time to hear from me….so I decided to make this happen…so that you could truly take the time, even if I had to make it so. There are things that you just need to hear.”
“Sometimes you let your fears overcome you. That’s what you feel. You feel like you’ve just had a spiritual cleansing at Jesus Culture, and once again you’re falling back into your old habits—-and that scares you. That’s why you had the nightmare about ants plaguing your newly washed sheets.”
“I do what I do because I love you. Because I want you to learn. Because I want you to teach others. Yes, sometimes it will hurt—-but I gave you this pain because I knew you could overcome it.”
_______________________________________
Now, when I finally got to school after finding out tapioca express was closed and getting food from Lee’s instead…I decided I might as well do some devotion, even though I was late.
The thing was, when I got to school—-I FELT SO REFRESHED.
I wasn’t mad that I was late.
(God even knew how I woke up today wanting to miss my first period because the bed felt so good but..welp. God’s funny) (“You said you wanted to miss class, didn’t you?” was one of the things He said while I was driving)
This was the first ever early day that I arrived literally HAPPY and REJUVENATED!
Well I opened up my Bible to some random passage and God said, “This is not what I want you to read. Open up to Psalm 23.”
and it was this:
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell[a] in the house of the Lord
Forever.
Amazing.
It was short and it was COMPLETELY relevant to what had happened. God truly comforted me with His voice and He definitely gave me PEACE from me being LOST and in silence.
_________________
And I was actually late for chapel today because I had to finish my chem midterm…
But when I finally arrived, I was completely surprised to find out that the chapel speaker was talking about silence and about taking time out of the business of our day to LISTEN to God.
If I didn’t miss my exit,
I would have gotten to school and went through my day normally.
Instead, GOD TOOK ME OFF COURSE
so that I could take time to hear Him.
He knew I needed it, even though I didn’t know that myself.
There were many things He said..many things that opened my eyes to things I personally had been very blind to.
He spoke to my fears and encouraged me, showing me that I CAN defeat them.
He spoke and said He is always there.
He gave me a verse to say that He is always there.
And when I got to chapel and heard the speaker’s message…
It was all of a sudden SO CLEAR why God chose TODAY of ALL DAYS to do this to me.
It was an incredible blessing in disguise.
And the chapel speaker is right.
We tend to get so busy, so overwhelmed, so distracted by ALL THE NOISE in our lives that we forget to take time for God.
And I realized that sometimes, God will make something happen to GIVE YOU TIME to hear Him.
And it’s your choice if you will be willing to take it.
I could have used all my time driving around just being pissed and upset that I was late and lost and had no idea where I was or where I was going….
but I used that time to consitently relax myself and allow God to speak to me and give me peace. The silence WAS strange at first, but in the end it was completely filled by the voice of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. All of Him. He was there. He was truly there with me.
And my prayer for everyone who might read this is that they would make the conscious effort to take time for the silence. To ALLOW yourself to hear God’s voice.
How do you do that?
You pray that God would speak.
Honestly, when I do that, I don’t make it wordy and I don’t beg for God to speak.
I just say, “Ok. So what is it you want to tell me, God?”
and it’s amazing to see how He answers.
Maybe He wants you to try it. To stop begging and begging and begging to hear Him…and instead just ask Him as if He was right next to you (because He’s actually IN YOU anyway) and then allow your thoughts to settle from craziness…and open your heart to things He has to say.
You will be amazed.
Because He will answer.
And you will come to KNOW HIS VOICE. His sweet, peaceful, and soft voice.
And you will be changed.
I promise you that.
Nah, this one in pink(:
hahah. I’ve never looked up dresses online. This is so fun. LOL.
What do you guys think?!?!? LOL I want it in piiiink(:
Mr. Adams: but that’s a big change in you in such a short amount of time..
Me: ! Yeahh!! MY EYES GOT SMALLER. It’s when I started becoming Asian.
Mr. Adams: Hahaha it started early!
Me: and kept growing more and more until the point where I’m learning Mandarin! I guess that’s what happens when you go to an all Asian school your entire childhood.
KEKEKKEKEKEKEKKEKEKE SENIORS.
God deserves much, much more of me.
I’ll be completely honest.
Miraculously, God answered yes to both those prayers. Got asked/a date figured out TWO days before the dance….And John gave me his ticket to Jesus Culture today…basically TWO weeks before Jesus Culture/Ignite. So crazy.
Esther told me today about how she makes time for God. How she would read a chapter, write the verses that stuck out to her, and write down her prayer…..
I definitely thank God for such an awesome night and fantastiiiiiiiiiic amazing productive day(:
Super Blessed! Love my friends.
PRETTY SURE BEST PART OF THE DANCE WAS……GROUP SLOW DANCING. WHY BE ROMANTIC WHEN YOU CAN BE FUNNY SWAYING IN A GROUP.
